Besides painting, something quite fascinating overran my calendar. I’m reading about sex.
Let’s all take a moment to grasp the enormity of this revelation.
Why in heaven’s name would Ida Mae be reading a book on physical intimacy when she is no longer physically intimate? When she intends to stay celibate thanks much? When she believes Paul had the right idea and singleness is preferable to matrimony?
Because my children keep asking questions I cannot answer, drat their hides.
Annoying Complications of Life and Stuff
Unplanned sex books were not on the agenda for this week but one of the kiddies had the nerve to ask a question on the male physical response. I turned fourteen shades of purple, slapped a hand over my mouth before blurting out something cynical and jaded (although I must admit, rather humorous) then did the only sensible thing. I stalled.
Off we go for this week’s regularly scheduled angry walk.
Why, Oh Lord do I have to talk to these kiddies about sex? I know nothing healthy. Nothing at all. Did I mention I know nothing? Why me?
Why oh Why oh Why?
How the blue blazes am I suppose to answer when all I have is a nice fat pile of rotting manure? Nothing to draw on, no understanding of loving intimacy— which reminds me, by the way, You promised to be a father to the fatherless. How about You talk to them?
Now that is a fine idea. These pups are worse than fatherless. They are offspring of an anti-dad who spoon-fed the whole lot poison. Poison!
Why-oh-why-oh-why—
Squirrel!
Just to clarify, many angry walks end in squirrel sightings. I have a sneaking suspicion He sends them around on purpose for just this reason.
Several days later, another dear child of my heart comes along with a question which shall forever remain unwritten. Not that I’m keeping score, but this one was a doozy. And then another. It becomes quite apparent that the kids are trying to kill me.
What is this madness? Spring fever? Synchronized hormones? Much prayer and many angry walks later, I chose the only reasonable course of action–let them learn on the street like the rest of us.
The kidlets are on their own.
Problem Solved, Life is Good
The day after number three takes awkwardness to Olympic levels, I am busy minding my own business. My heart is at peace, nary a stray thought of physical intimacy within a two block radius. Being as the weather is fine, I head off to God’s Store to peruse the latest selection in mismatched dishes (that’s Goodwill to you heathen). I browse through ugly lamps without lampshades, saucers without cups, tables without chairs and there, on the book rack between Harry Potter and Rug Making for Dummies sits Intended for Pleasure by Ed Wheat, M. D.
I may be dense, but I can take a hint. As I walk out the door, book in hand, I hear the Lord snickering, no lie.
Remembering Who Loves Me
When He promised to take care of those who put Him first, He meant it. When we ask, it delights Him to provide. Sometimes I forget. But not this week. Standing there in the middle of a store I’ve visited a bajillion times, holding exactly the right book at exactly the right moment—at thirty percent off, no less—I know Who stocked the shelves.
Sometimes the challenge of just getting by takes me under. Simple stuff like finding a job or renting an apartment consumes massive amounts of energy needed for better things. How will I ever handle the important stuff? Like parenting these beautiful, annoying, lively children who just want a chance to be happy? How can a Mom ever guide her offspring, providing the wisdom of both parents, when she’s so damaged herself? Some days, it’s too much to bear.
And then God surprises me at the thrift store. Glad He didn’t send a squirrel to hold the door, that might have been a bit much.
Thanks Dad~
Thoroughly Christian Divorce 
Oh, our Abba is good! I’m reading through your post, thinking I need to introduce you to Dr. Wheat, only to find that God is way ahead of me. It was awfully nice to learn I was hearing him 😉
This book is the best. God gave you a gem. And I’m still seeing a white Stetson in your future.
When I was out walking, the thought came to mind, ‘wasn’t there a book on all this technical stuff, written by a Christian doctor?’ No matter, that was years ago. Probably out of print, won’t bother looking.’
The minute I saw the title, memory kicked in and I got tickled. God’s pretty funny sometimes 🙂
Yes, now there is a situation for sure. How do we tell our children about things we know nothing of? I think the answer lies in being taught by the Spirit of Christ, which is a ministry in all believers. We are all taught by Him to love one another, even if we have never been loved by others. I think somehow He gives it to us and we experience it from Him. In regard to sex, the real thing is a product growing out of love between husband and wife. Apart from that, it isn’t real, or worse, it is an evil. If our children can be introduced to Christ and come to be known by Him, they will be in a position to understand what it is to know another human being. Those who have been loved are able to love. All the rest of sex tends to fall into place after that.
Hey – photo indicates that you bought the book! Which brings to my mind my “Christian-family-marriage-husband/wife roles” era of book collecting many years ago. I bought them all. Didn’t read many of them. Actually didn’t like them that well but I didn’t know it at the time. I thought I was just defective and sinful. Turns out that lots of them were mere formula recipes to follow. They made me feel guilty. I couldn’t do that stuff. It wasn’t me, so I was the problem.
Your find at the Goodwill is probably a good one and, just like your squirrel sighting, a providential event. Just don’t let it get you guilty. Sometimes things like that can get to “shoulding” on us. This is how it should have been, and so on. The fact is, it takes two to tango and it takes two to make a marriage be a pleasure.
I thought all folks in squirrel country shot and ate the critters?
This is where I admit to skimming the first three chapters where all the ought-to-be’s lie in wait for someone struggling with misplaced guilt and got right to the line drawings and technical info in Chapter Four. The child reading behind me has not been so quick to jump ahead so we’re having a lively discussion of the difference between how things can be with two people who both love God and want His kingdom first and the reality of life with an abusive spouse.
Even in that, I see good. We’re sifting through the muck and perhaps that will help in the future.
In regards to the squirrels: They’re as common as mosquitoes down here and easily ignored. Unless they’re sitting in the road, staring you down and refusing to give way. Very cheeky. Those are the one’s interfering with Rant Time. As none are foaming at the mouth, I’m assuming they are Ninja squirrels on a Mission from God.
*cue Blue’s Brother’s soundtrack
That is awesome – intriguing, funny and spiritual all in such a small space.
I have had similar experiences – love the squirrel references! And, I too have stumbled on just the right resources when I was desperate for answers.
You will be given the wisdom and the words.
And, I can also share that the fear and dread of having to be intimate with my abuser husband was miraculously transformed into an ongoing passion for the wonderful man to whom I am now married. It is possible.