Recommended and Working on a Little Something


Right now, I’m simmering. Not in a she’s-gonna-blow kinda way. Just mulling some things over and seeking God’s direction for new paths.


Barbara Roberts transcribed one of Lundy Bancroft’s videos here. Don’t know about you, but I have a hard time sitting through a thirty minute video when I can read something in ten.  Thank you Barbara!

Here’s a quote and a link to her post:

Lundy Bancroft Says the Right Outlook is Outrage

Is this a male on female crime?

The answer is yes; it is overwhelmingly a male on female crime. Certainly there are lesbian batterers who are abusing their female partners; there are gay male batterers who are abusing their male partners. But the people who are dying are not men who are being abused by women. I certainly know couples where the man is the nice guy and the woman is the not-nice person. It has nothing to do with who is nice people or who’s not nice people. It’s not that image of the world where somehow men are bad and women are good. But it’s about tyranny and it’s about fear and intimidation and it’s about the belief that you have the right to create fear and intimidation, and that you can count on other people to back you up.

Jeff Crippen wrote another wonderful article titled, Why an Abuser Cannot be a Christian. One of the things I appreciate about Jeff– he says the hard things. Lots of church folks get all sorts of bent out of shape over articles like this and I say– Let them twist.

Things are all kinds of messed up when a sociopathic liar can lead the congregation while his terrorized wife and kids get hounded by those in authority.

I want to re-visit and re-affirm the fact — and it is a fact — that the abuser is not and cannot be a Christian. A person who is ruled by a mentality of entitlement, of power and control over others, who so lacks a conscience that he feels absolutely justified in the evil tactics he utilizes to get what he wants and to rule over his victims, is not a new creation in Christ. And I need to continue to affirm this because it is being denied in our churches. I know it is being denied because I continue to receive first-hand reports from Christians who are victims of terrible, ongoing (usually for decades) abuse who verify that their pastors and elders and fellow Christians are insisting that the abuser IS a Christian.

If you haven’t yet, head over the A Cry for Justice and read through some of Pastor Crippen’s articles.

And finally, an article from Morven Baker  (a wee lecture for the ones who will never want to hear it)  just because she found the cutest kitty picture and needs extra tissues.

3 responses »

  1. Thank you for linking to these posts, Ida Mae. I am one who has to print them out and read them too! I just can’t sit through a long video or even read something very long on the computer. My old eyes and head start to hurt! 😉

    I am so thankful you (and Jeff) brought up the topic of abusers not being Christian. Just read I John and it spells out exactly what being a Christian and not being a Christian is. It is easy to see where the abuser falls there. When I read that short epistle recently, I grieved, realizing that my stbx-H is NOT saved, and if he continues in his life the way he is, will NOT spend eternity in Heaven with our Lord.

    It upsets me when mutual friends say, “Well, I remember when __________ received Christ” (really? because he said a prayer in church?) or about the ex-husband of a mutual friend of ours, who recently divorced him because he was adulterous and abusive, “He’s doing so much better now. He’s involved in a church and takes the kids there when they are with him for the weekend.” (so what?)

    These things really irk me too. You’re not the only one simmering.

    • My almost-ex lived like the devil for at least two decades of the three we were together. (I’m giving him a pass on those first ten years, not because he lived a righteous life, but because I never caught him at much (unless giving your wife a venereal disease counts) and at that point, he was still carrying on a pretense around the house.

      Not only did he never repent, when caught red handed he just claimed it never happened, I was lying, no one would believe me (which turned out to be true for the most part) and trotted himself right back to church the minute I left, still lying all the way.

      Nope, doesn’t pass the smell test. I think the Bible is very clear that a Christian may sin, but he won’t live in habitual sin without repentance.

      • Ack! Don’t you love how you can catch them red-handed and they still won’t ‘fess up? Mine can look you right in the face after you’ve just heard him say something or seen him do something and say, “I didn’t do that.” or “I never said that”, without blinking an eye. It is crazy-making!

        Oh, I forgot to mention that I really like your fish picture!

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